You are life; 

your breathing makes the air move. 

February 2021

 

If you are wondering how this might work, close your eyes the next time when you breathe and experience the flow of air that comes in. Experience it going out of your nostrils and how it moves. Repeat this procedure several times until you can begin to feel the difference in air temperature of the air coming in and the air going out.  Slowly but steadily, you will experience the movement of air on your face. Once you feel it, stay with that feeling. Enjoy it. 

You are experiencing the life within and around you.  

If you feel like it is too weak, go outside, choose a hilltop, and then close the eyes and feel the wind caressing you. Stay with that feeling. 

Feel the wind moving in the rhythm of your breath, or your breath moving in the rhythm of the wind. 

Stay with that feeling and realise that YOU are part of life. 

You are life and your breathing makes the air move. 

Just think about that for a second, your breathing keeps the wind alive. 

Wouldn´t it be beautiful if you could envision yourself as a life force?!? Of course, it is, and of course you can. You are life and the life within you looks for an environment to express itself.  

Feeling the life within you 

March 2021

 

I was lacking in self-awareness and needed reminding of the life within me. 
And whenever I forgot about the immense life energy that is flowing through my body, I started experiencing mental and physical discomfort and pain. 
Yes, for me the source of pain was forgetting to feel the life within me. And that might seem counterintuitive, how could I forget? But I did. I didn´t give attention to myself and cherish the wonderful gadget (to use Sadhguru´s term) that my body was. I disregarded it and focused more about what my mind was creating. Until I hit the point where a new life has come into my life and needed me to provide the avenue for a healthy growth. That is when I switched to myself and knew, just knew that it was up to me and me alone to do this. That I have all the tools and resources that I need. One resource was feeling. Feeling the immense love and gratitude for a new life in my life. And then slowly I started remembering all the methods and discovering or better said allowing for knowledge to flow through me in form of new concepts about life and love and body and energy. 

I started doing Yoga and started meditating, started reading books about subjects that I forgot I was interested in when I was a student in the university. I started opening myself up and share my experience of life, focusing deliberately on the good stuff in my life. And as I did that it all started to be new around me. Everything within myself started feeling renewed and alive. Meditating helped to quiet my mind and to start feeling, feeling on a more subtle and deeper level. Feeling for me and my life, and the life of my two beautiful daughters. Feeling the life that allowed me to want to experience this. 

And then I started being happy. Being happy is a process, and I was amazed at the amount of “garbage” that was keeping me from being steadily happy. Most of it the “garbage” were beliefs or thought about different subjects that I just couldn´t shake so quickly off. Being aware that it is a process helped me get back on my path whenever I diverted to an “old- wasteful” way of thinking that was just not making me happy. Now I am diligently processing my happiness and creating new ways of thinking, seeing, feeling, experiencing happiness. 

Being a mother with children

Mai 2021

I was having a nice gathering where authenticity was being welcomed and yet at one point, I felt the need to shut (mute my mic) because I was feeling the other persons discomfort at the sounds in my background. It was the buzzing of my baby wanting to be on my lap and the joy of my 4-year-old wanting to show the persons on the screen how she can talk and walk behind me on the couch. All in all, a fun experience that is only welcome when everyone is welcoming the sound of children. When someone is a bit intolerant to that I feel like I should leave because I don´t want to impose my loudness of life on other. 

During my jogging round today, I realised this idea: “mothers with small and loud children are better to stay at home and not in gathering of any sorts” is being held alive by men and women of any sorts. In the past I was being told I should take time off from my courses because my baby was crying to loud in the room next to my course room (where it was attended by a loving babysitter) or that I should mute myself in gatherings because my “background” is loud and disturbing, or only to turn my mic on when I “really” wanted to say something. 

I really wanted to say, that hey, I am here because I am enjoying being here with you just as much as you do! I want to create my space where I can be with you today just as I am. I am a mother of two small children. They are mostly super quiet, but when their mom is sharing herself, they see me as a model, and they want to share themselves as well. 

This shutting down that I experienced was mostly done by other women. Young successful women with no children, who wanted to get as much as possible out of the meeting, but only according to their idea of a silent meeting. I felt a great need from them to control the external environment to meet their demands for internal silence. I often stayed on the corridors with the door open to hear the course I fully paid to attend to… I often breastfed my baby and my brain simultaneously because I wanted to experience myself in that course, through a specific exchange. I was at one point so affected by one course colleague who had a chronic problem with noise (that she complained about my baby crying in the next room when I was in the course room) that I didn´t attend any more courses in presence in that semester. I was respecting their need for silence and disrespecting my need for knowledge. I was in a way maintaining the idea that young mothers with children should just stay at home and not bother anyone. 

This is happening in western Europe and not Middle East. This was happening to me because I have carried this seed of giving credit of the idea that young mothers should stay at home. 

Young mothers with children should be doing whatever it is that they can and want to do! 

I am acknowledging fully that my reaction to the discomfort of others is expressing my allowance for them to control the situation. In the future I will just attend and encourage anyone to just attend the courses, just as they can and leave their mics on or off, or on when there are children around. Enough with the social silencing of young mothers and their loud joyful children. I will participate in life because my young daughters should see motherhood as being a natural part of life, not something that needs to be lived in the safety of one’s home without bothering someone. 

I shall take no responsibility for how others react, and I will take full responsibility for how I react.